Ending your marriage but continuing to raise your children with your ex, usually comes with a lot of moving parts. Oftentimes, that includes physically moving into a new home, finding your way in a new neighborhood, enrolling your kids in new schools and so on.
To diminish some of the newness of divorced life, co-parents can keep the family home, rather than moving into two new homes. Through bird nesting or nesting, your children can continue to in the same home, while you and your ex-spouse switch off taking care of them there.
Benefits of nesting
Nesting isn’t for every family, but you might find the arrangement useful if:
- You enjoy the family home and community
- Need time to decide your next move
- Want to allow your children to keep their same daily routines
- Your children have many neighbors that are their friends
- You don’t mind sharing finances and a space with your ex
Disadvantages of nesting
You might decide against nesting if you’d like to mix your life as little as possible with your ex-spouse. Although, you can both purchase or rent a separate place to stay when it isn’t your parenting time, this type of set-up might make you feel like you haven’t fully moved on from your relationship yet. Reminders of your ex can linger if the home reminds you of memories you shared together. And while keeping up with the finances for the family home and your second home may be doable, it can also be a hassle or affect savings goals you have.
Plus, if either you and your spouse plan to date or marry in the near future, a nesting arrangement might overcomplicate the situation. Co-parents might be okay with sharing a space for the sake of their children, but sharing a space with an ex-spouse’s new significant other can be awkward.
How long or short you keep up this arrangement is up to you and your co-parent. But if you can put aside any animosity you have toward your spouse or your settlement, then you and your children may both find relief from the divorce whirlwind by nesting.